Well-being is an intricate and multifaceted experience. It touches every part of who we are—our physical, mental and emotional, relational or social, and spiritual selves. Other areas that are often overlooked include occupational and financial well-being. Yet, we don’t always see these components as connected. Often, we might prioritize one aspect over another—like focusing on our physical health when our emotional well-being is what really needs attention. The truth is, all these parts of ourselves are deeply interconnected, and when one area of our well-being struggles, it can affect the others.
For instance, we may notice stress in our emotional state, but the root cause could be financial strain or unresolved relational issues. It’s easy to get caught up in the idea of fixing one area, but healing and well-being require us to look at the whole picture. Healing practices invite us to pay attention to this broader web of well-being and recognize that sometimes, we need to shift focus or deepen support in areas we hadn’t initially considered.
The Imbalance in Well-being
When one area of well-being thrives while another doesn’t, it often leads to questions: Why am I physically healthy but emotionally drained? Why do I feel secure financially but struggle in relationships? Sometimes, these imbalances are connected to protective patterns we developed in response to past experiences or environments.
Think about how many of us learned to cope with difficult emotions growing up—if we weren’t taught how to communicate openly, set boundaries, or express vulnerability, we might find ourselves adopting defensive mechanisms in relationships. These patterns serve as protection, but over time, they can prevent us from developing deeper connections and emotional resilience.
For those of us who didn't learn how to regulate our emotions, communicate effectively, or prioritize healthy eating habits in childhood, there’s cognitive learning we must engage in as adults. It’s not just about recognizing what's lacking; it’s about unlearning old habits and re-learning healthier ways of being. This can be challenging, especially when it feels like you're starting from scratch, but the work is transformative.
The Role of Learning in Relational Well-being
Relational well-being, in particular, often involves learning. If we weren’t taught how to engage in connected communication by our parents or caregivers, we may have to learn it as adults. The same goes for emotional regulation. If we never witnessed caregivers model healthy coping mechanisms, we may need to practice these skills ourselves. This could include learning to manage conflict, express feelings in non-defensive ways, or even navigate vulnerability in relationships.
For instance, one of the key lessons many of us might have missed growing up is how to regulate our nervous systems. When we’re anxious or angry, our body reacts. If our caregivers didn’t model ways to calm down or process emotions, we might still react impulsively or defensively in moments of stress. This is where cognitive learning plays a crucial role—it’s not just about emotional work; it's about understanding how our bodies and brains respond to triggers and then practicing new strategies to create healthier responses.
This process of unlearning and re-learning is essential to improving relational well-being. Whether it’s through reading, therapy, or experiential learning, these cognitive shifts can help us foster more connected and meaningful relationships.
Building a Holistic Healing Practice
Healing isn’t just about resolving painful memories from the past; it’s about recognizing how those experiences have shaped our current well-being and what practices we can adopt to interrupt those cycles. Healing is nuanced and requires more than just emotional or physical work—it requires cognitive, creative, and relational growth.
For example, I’ve seen how someone’s chronic physical pain was closely tied to unresolved emotional tension. In a self-attunement session, a participant realized that their back pain was connected to the emotional strain of unresolved family conflict. Through a combination of physical movement, cognitive reflection, and emotional processing, they began to alleviate both their physical and emotional burdens.
Practical Recommendations for Holistic Well-being
To cultivate a holistic healing practice, it's helpful to focus on several key areas. Here are some approaches that can support your well-being across different dimensions:
Physical Well-being: Start with small practices like gentle stretching, mindful walking, or yoga. Notice how your body holds tension and consider what emotions might be contributing to that tension. Activities like deep breathing and mindful movement can help restore balance.
Mental & Emotional Well-being: Regularly check in with yourself. Journaling can be a powerful way to process emotions, or you might find support through therapy or group circles. The goal is to create space for your emotions, even the difficult ones, and learn to navigate them with compassion.
Relational or Social Well-being: This often requires a combination of emotional intelligence and cognitive learning. Books, courses, or workshops focused on communication, conflict resolution, and emotional regulation can be helpful tools. Remember, relationships flourish when they’re nurtured, so make time to strengthen these bonds.
Soul and Spiritual Well-being: This might be one of the most personal areas of well-being, as it can look different for each of us. For some, it’s spiritual practice or connection with a higher power, while for others, it might be creative expression, time in nature, or meditation. The key is finding what nourishes your spirit and making space for that regularly.
Financial Well-being: Addressing financial stress can alleviate a major burden on your emotional and relational health. Whether it’s through budgeting, financial planning, or reducing unnecessary expenses, find ways to create financial peace. Even small changes in spending habits can lead to greater security.
Occupational Well-being: We spend a significant part of our lives at work, so paying attention to how our work impacts our overall well-being is essential. Occupational well-being includes finding meaning in your work, aligning your career goals with your current role, and using your unique skills. Creating a balance that prevents burnout is key. As Robert Walters suggests, "Ensuring job satisfaction is critical to our health, with work satisfaction being tied to meaning, alignment with career purpose, and assessment of rewards and recognition." You can nurture your occupational well-being by:
Aligning your career goals and purpose with your current work.
Avoiding overwork, as burnout often leads to decreased productivity and impacts work-life balance.
Establishing social connections with coworkers to make your work more enjoyable and supportive.
Embracing Healing as a Lifelong Practice
Ultimately, healing isn’t a one-time event but a lifelong journey. It requires us to continually check in with ourselves, adjust our practices, and embrace both the easy and difficult parts of the process. Healing is about the choices we make every day—whether that’s unlearning old habits, learning new skills, or simply being kind to ourselves as we navigate life’s challenges.
As you explore your own healing, remember that no single area of well-being exists in isolation. Your physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual health are all connected, and as you begin to heal one, you may notice shifts in others. Embrace this interconnectedness and allow your healing practice to reflect it. Healing is possible, and with intention and attention, it can lead to a more balanced, fulfilled, and joyful life.